The majority of people who have narcissistic traits do not have an actual psychiatric disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The traits of narcissism are characterized by some key patterns such as controlling, lack of empathy, arrogance, admiration seeking, attention-seeking, a propensity to envy, and difficulties with emotional regulation. When you engage yourself in a committed relationship with a narcissist then your relationship will be like a honeymoon phase and they will not show any red flags or their true colors to doubt on them in the beginning.
They will treat you like you mean the world to them and they will prioritize you like the most prioritized person in their life. As the times passes then their narcissistic traits will start to comes to the surface but you can't even identify them because they have a higher level of confidence to convince you.
Narcissist partner is a self-centered, smart manipulator, egoist, arrogant, attention seeker, controlling, and an emotional vampire who believes that the earth and the moon revolve around them. The narcissist partner is smart enough to fulfill their own desires of attention, affection, love, respect, appreciation and they don't care about your desires. It is a very challenging task to discover whether your partner is a narcissist or not since they might have hijacked your logical, emotional, and intuitive intelligence without any prior notice. When you continue your relationship with a narcissist for so long then you will become a person without any self-worth, self-identity, and dream purpose in life. The narcissist put their all possible effort to dis-empower you in every way possible and they keep empowering themselves. There are certain traits you need to focus on which can help you to know whether your partner is a narcissist or not.
The traits of a narcissistic partner are given below which can help to rescue yourself from emotional vampires asap if these traits get matched with your case scenario.
1. They are self-centered and they think everything is all about them.
The narcissist partner believes that the earth, sun, and everything revolves around them. They are only concerned about their needs, desires, happiness, expectations, dream purpose, and emotional well being. They don't care about your desires, dreams, or anything that can make you feel happy or better than them because they have the deep-rooted belief that everything that is positive and life prospering is for them. If they find you being happy and progressing in your key areas of life then they will start creating an argument on an irrelevant topic to make you feel inferior and unwanted. Whatever be your situation or circumstances, they don't care and want to remain as the center of your attention 24/7.
2. They are an attention seeker.
They should be the center of attention in terms of love, attention, affection, respect, and appreciation despite arguments or any issues existing in a relationship. They feel so much happy when you keep fulfilling their desire for attention in every way possible. Your partner believes that you are officially hired to meet their expectations only and you don't need or deserves such positive treatment that can make you feel happy. When your partner finds you giving more attention or love to yourself or your kids or your family/friends then they will be very aggressive and violent but in a smart way so that you can't notice them directly.
3. They have a very Controlling attitude and they threaten you about everything frequently.
They are very controlling because your life should run as per their terms and conditions. Their controlling behavior creates invisible chains and a sense of fear or self-doubts within yourself which can stop you from believing in yourself. You will not have any power to make any decision or share any opinions expect them because you are in a relationship to remain as a spectator, not as an initiator. They can even distance you from your passion, loved ones, and dream goals so that you can rely on them as per their rules and regulations. You can't even make your own decisions nor you can live with your own freedom as they have full control over you in every way. They will keep monitoring your every step in your personal life or on social media platforms. They will keep you in the state of confusion and brain fog so that you can't even feel like you are being controlled by them in a self-centered way.
They might threaten you for everything during a heated argument if their desperate need of attention, respect, appreciation, and everything that is about them are not met. They are not scared of leaving you and they know that you can't leave them easily despite their narcissistic behavior. They might use a statement like "I will leave you and I won't come back again", "I will tell your family and friends that you are a narcissist and you humiliate me", "You will not be getting any financial help from me next time", "You can leave me and I have never needed or loved you anyway", and so on.
4. They manipulate you in an emotionally devastating way.
They will manipulate you and make you feel unwanted emotionally most of the time since they love seeing you in emotional stress. You will be emotionally manipulated in a devastating way whenever something went wrong and they find themselves the cause of it. They will make you feel like you are the reason for all arguments, their failure, insecurities, weakness, and emotional stress. Their core intention is to make themselves feel better by manipulating you without any valid reasons. They know the countless ways to manipulate you and make you feel inferior in front of everyone whoever appreciates you for who you are. They are smart enough to condition you in such a way that you start to doubt on yourself, feel guilty about everything and you start to sabotage yourself in every way.
5. They will distance you from your dream goals.
When you start to achieve massive success and if you start to achieve more earning, fame, or recognition than your partner then they will drag you down to the misery level so that you can appreciate their dream goals and accomplishments. They want you to focus on appreciating their progress and celebrating their success rather than being the best version of yourself. They will find the best strategy to convince you regarding their success, progress, and dreams matter only, not yours. They want you to keep walking on eggshells and falling just short of your big dreams. If you ignore them in such a situation then they will find countless reasons to create a heated argument frequently for making you feel unwanted, sad, and failure in life.
6. They will isolate you from your loved ones.
Your partner will feel insecure, sad, and jealous seeing you happy with your family and friends. They will distance you from all your loved ones who love you and appreciates you for who you are. They will isolate you from everyone because they want you to celebrate their happiness and not to be happy with your well-wishers. They will manipulate you and make you feel wrong about everything in front of your family and friends to win their trust and heart. They want to be treated as a VIP among your family and friends which is the major reason for distancing you from them by using mastermind strategies. Their goal is to get everyone's attention including yours so that you can continually focus on them to keep them happy and make them feel valued.
You might feel lonely and emotionally devastated by being isolated from everyone but they won't be concerned about your well being. When you get isolated from your loved ones and friends then you will get isolated from yourself too. After an intense level of mental and emotional stress, you might find a self-destructive solution by engaging yourself in any kind of addiction and expect your partner to feel pity for you for your situation but that doesn't happen.
7. They are the initiator, finisher, and self-proclaimed winner of every argument.
They have their deep-rooted belief that they are always right and they will never give any space for justifying your valid opinions rather they will forcefully win over an argument created by them. Actually, they are the initiator, finisher, and the self-proclaimed winner of every argument. They will never argue with any logic or valid reasons rather they will engage you in an irrelevant conversation and ends with confusion. They do it intentionally to discredit, confuse, and frustrate you, distract you from the main problem and make you feel guilty for being the truth and different from their opinions.
They always focus on their opinions and ignores your valid opinions to win over you so that they can feel better by defeating you and making you feel responsible for that argument. When the argument is over then you start to feel emotionally drained, defeated, and confused and they are happy to see you in such a situation – after all, they intentionally create such drama to make you feel guilty, negative, emotionally devastated, and depressed. They have got a crab mentality attitude because they want to feel themselves better by making you feel unwanted and for that, they can be violent during the argument too.
8. They love ruining the best moments of your life that really matters.
They are the attention seeker, self-centered and emotional vampire who doesn't like to see you enjoying or celebrating being at social gatherings with your family or loved ones. When you invite your family and friends on your birthday or kid's birthday and if they find you expressing your happiness being with your loved ones then they will ruin your celebration at any cost. They are smart enough to formulate strategic action plans to ruin your happiest moments of life because it makes them feel happy by taking the joy from you. They love everyone celebrating their best moments and giving 100% attention to them which is their core intention of ruining your best moments. They don't care what you think and how you feel about their narcissistic behaviors since they don't even count you as a priority in their life.
9. Their actions don't match their words most of the time.
They are an emotional manipulator who will always use fancy words or fake promises to please you and make you feel like you really mean everything to them but their actions will always contradict what they say to you. They are smart enough to convince you and make you feel like they are 100% into you but their actions will always keep you in the state of confusion and brain fog. They have a great power to influence and convince you so that you start to ignore your self-doubts or confusion and trusting their actions. They can even lie, pretend or cheat on you but you will not be able to come to the conclusion by trusting your intuition and pattern of their behaviors because you are conditioned in that way to trust them.
10. They love to destroy your self-worth, self-identity, and ruin your life.
They are self-centered who need your love, attention, respect, admiration, and care for their positive transformation in life but they don't care about your positive growth in life. They are intentionally creating a different case scenario for killing your desire to become the best version of yourself and they are doing such so that you can't be better than them at any cost. They want you to see in the state of begging, pleading, and asking for their approval regarding your thought, emotion, decision, and action. They love to destroy your self-worth, self-identity, and distance you from becoming a destined version of yourself. They always keep you in the state of confusion and brain fog which can make you more dependent on them in every way.
11. They know how to punish you silently and change your perception about them.
Whenever you spot their negative behavior or any act that is reflecting their mistake such as lying or cheating then they will punish you silently without giving any attention or asking about your well being for days, weeks, or even months. If you accuse the narcissist of their bad behavior, they will spin it around and accuse you of having that behavior. They know their fault from the core of their being but they will never accept their mistakes or even get worried about their emotionally devastating behaviors.
They punish you in a silent way to make you feel emotionally stressed so that you can react to them. Once you react then they will blame you for their negative behaviors or actions and they will make you feel worthless and unwanted by having an intense level of argument. They know better for conditioning you in such a way so that you will start accepting their bad behavior or negative actions in a normal way. You might feel confused about their bad behaviors but you can't confidently doubt on them rather you start doubting on your own thought, emotion, and intuition.
Note:- Once you expand your awareness regarding the key traits that narcissist displays before showing their true identity, can help you to make a conscious wise decision when it’s time to stop investing your precious time, emotional energy or money into a narcissistic partner – because the only thing you’re going to be doing is feeding their need to be the center of attention all the time. It's my humble appealing request to have a self-diagnosis of your relationship to know whether you are experiencing such behavior from your partner or not. You need to understand one thing very important that is, having a few signs doesn't mean they are a narcissist.
Never make your decision instantly if you find such traits in your partner rather take professional help from any psychotherapist or marriage counselor to fix your relationship issues. You can request your narcissist partner to go for counseling together even though the chance is very less since the problem with a narcissist is, they never accept that they are a narcissist rather they can call you a narcissist. If they deny going with you for counseling then don't force them rather you can go for getting the right guidance so that you can make a conscious wise decision to rescue yourself if that person is a narcissist with NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder) symptoms.
The majority of people are engaging in addiction and sabotaging themselves in every way possible instead of fixing their narcissistic relationship. If you trade your precious life being in a narcissistic relationship and wait for a miracle to happen for so long, then you are intentionally inviting more emotional disaster in your life.