A relationship is a very confidential matter of concern, and you have to be conscious while engaging in a dating relationship. You have to have clarity regarding the traits or qualities you desire to experience in a man and the kind of relationship you desire to be in before you engage in your dating relationship.
The man you are dating should be aware of your desires and relationship goals within a few dates. It doesn't mean that you should force him to be in a committed relationship within a few dates. There is no fixed scientific or expert-based opinion on time period or deadlines for how long you should wait for commitment, it's all about how you feel emotionally and intuitively being with that person.
You have to express your burning desires for commitment once you feel that you have reached to a point where you can't have more patience. You must express yourself in a wise and mature way regarding the purpose of a dating relationship, your core values, traits or qualities you desire to experience in your ideal man, and the kind of relationship life you envision.
Actually having a romantic night and candle night dinner every weekend might not be the appropriate way to measure the quality of your relationship life. You have to be very conscious of the red flags you experience in your dating relationship from the very beginning. When you start to feel insecure, emotionally empty, and lonely, and if you feel suspicious about his opinion on commitment, then observe the pattern of his excuses.
When you start to realize that he is not showing any signs of commitment after several months or years of dating, and if you start to feel suspicious about his similar patterns of excuses, then this is a huge wake-up call for you. There are always some valid reasons for delaying commitment, and you can't force a man you love to make a commitment as per your terms and conditions.
Whenever you invest your precious time, energy, and everything for a man you love then it's obvious to expect the reciprocation of committed effort from him as well. It is emotionally very devastating to continue an undefined type of relationship with an unfixed man for so long because it disturbs all the key areas of your life. Your heart gets shattered into a million pieces when a man you love is not sharing about you with their family, friends, or on social media and always keeps you in a brain fog or brain confusion by giving you a series of suspicious excuses.
You might be wondering why a man you love unconditionally can deny you a commitment even though you are 100% committed and loyal to him. There are countless reasons for denying and extending the time period for a commitment, and you have to be consciously aware of the red flags before you get into an intense level of emotional trauma.
Here are some probable reasons that can help you understand why he is delaying commitment for so long:
1. He Isn't Over His Ex Yet:-
He might have convinced you with full confidence and with eye contact that he is over his ex, but in reality, he is not over his ex emotionally when you find him delaying commitment for too long. He continues his emotional game behind your back with his ex by being emotionally occupied and inspecting his ex in every way possible regarding her every move. Actually, he doesn't want to lose you until he is unable to get his ex back or get over his ex.
He will try his best to not get caught up emotionally and pretend to be happy being with you since you have become a woman like "Friends With Benefits" for him. He prefers an option while working on his ex, and he is with you for his self-centered motives. He is happy with you whenever he is with you and has romantic nights with you because he is able to bridge his emotional gap as per his terms and conditions.
2. He Might Have Experienced An Emotionally Traumatic Breakup Or Divorce In The Past:-
If you love a man unconditionally and he is loyal, but he is afraid to commit for a long period, he might have experienced a very emotionally devastating breakup or divorce in a past relationship. He might not have gotten over his past relationship issues, which are blocking him from committing, but at the same time, he loves to be with you and have quality time, romance, and sex as well.
The fear of getting hurt again might be his compelling reason to delay commitment, and he might not be serious about commitment either since he is getting everything from you to medicate his emotional issues. He might be perceiving you as his emotional therapist since you have been medicating his emotional wound for so long.
3. He Might Not Be Clear About The Purpose Of Being In A Relationship With You.
He might not have any clarity regarding the traits or qualities he is looking for in a woman, and he might not be clear about the core purpose of this dating relationship. Since he has no clarity and purpose in this dating relationship, he is not that serious about being in a committed relationship.
He might just love your company, the emotional bond of connection, and having a physical relationship with you. He might be in a dating relationship with you for his selfish motives only, and you might not have been aware of his red flags for so long.
4. He Might Not Be Mature Enough To Take The Relationship Seriously.
Maturity is the key element of commitment in a dating relationship. He might not be mature enough to take this dating relationship as a serious matter of concern, and he might be taking it casually without knowing the purpose of this existing relationship. He might have some attention-grabbing qualities or traits, which have been confusing you regarding his immaturity for so long.
He might not be aware of his own immaturity either since he is enjoying your company and getting everything from you without any extra effort. He might be taking this dating relationship in a very casual way rather than being too serious.
5. He Might Have Had An Abusive or Traumatic Childhood.
When a person is treated in an abusive way in their childhood phase, then their belief system is programmed in a negative way, which takes a long duration of time to reprogram in a positive way. The negative belief system generates negative traits like fear and insecurities, which paralyze their logical intelligence, emotional intelligence, and intuitive intelligence.
He might have low self-esteem and low self-worth, and he might lack his own identity, which might be keeping him from committing for too long. He might be using his weakness as a weapon, and you might not have been aware of these red flags for so long.
6. He Might Be Into Another Woman Too.
He might be having an affair with other women at the same time, which might be his hidden core reason for not committing and delaying without any valid or convincing reason. A man with such traits is a qualified professional to play with many women at once without getting caught for so long.
He is consciously aware of his every action, and you can't catch him if you ignore your emotional intelligence and intuitive intelligence while getting red flags from being with him. He won't commit, and he can't leave you at the same time since he is getting everything he wants by keeping you as an option.
7. He Might Not Be Mentally, Emotionally, & Financially Stable Enough To Be In A Committed Relationship:-
A committed relationship is a very confidential matter of concern that demands a positive harmony among the key areas of life to excel in a happy and vibrant relationship for a lifetime. He might not be mentally, emotionally, and financially prepared or stable enough to be in a committed relationship, which might be his core reason for extending the time for commitment.
He might be too focused on his dream projects or goals, and he might not be in a situation to be in a committed relationship with you. He is able to get everything from you despite his own personal issues, which is like having bread with butter without making any extra effort.
8. He Might Be Addicted To Romance And Sex Only.
He might be pretending to love you for the sake of having quality time, romance, and sex by keeping you as an option. He might have intentionally targeted you to use you for his hidden purpose and keep you in a state of brain confusion without leaving any clues or raising any red flags for getting caught.
He can't be serious about a committed relationship since he has countless women to satisfy his needs for attention, romance, and sex. When a man is addicted to romance and sex more than he values relationships, he has no intention of being in a committed relationship.
How to deal with a man with commitment issues or commitment phobia?
Everyone has the dream of experiencing a loving and stable relationship with someone who can love them, treasure them, and prioritize them for who they are. Whatever be the probable commitment issues in a man you love, you have to utilize your logical intelligence, emotional intelligence, and intuitive intelligence wisely while experiencing the red flags. Never allow an unfixed person to use their personal issues as a weapon to remain in an undefined type of relationship.
It doesn't matter what his issues are; all that matters is how you feel emotionally and intuitively being with him. You need to be consciously wise enough to analyze the pattern of excuses and follow your emotional intelligence and intuitive guidance system to make a confidential decision regarding your existing relationship issues. You must sit together for a confidential type of healthy conversation, and you need to request him with love for working on his existing issues by having some time and space until the existing issues get fixed.
When you allow him some time and space to fix his issues, then you need to work on yourself too since nobody is perfect. Some unexpected truths will definitely come to the surface with this approach. If he truly loves you from the core of his being and if he is able to fix his internal issues, prioritizing you for a committed relationship, then he will definitely be in your life sooner or later. You can't just expect a miracle to happen after being with an unfixed person and knowingly ignoring all the red flags for several years.
Never engage yourself in a dating relationship with someone else while he is working on his internal issues. You need to expand your awareness regarding the working mechanism of the law of attraction because the law of attraction is the solid foundation for manifesting your ideal partner. You can refer to this article for a more descriptive understanding regarding the action-oriented approach of the law of attraction to manifest your ideal partner How to manifest your ideal partner using the Law of Attraction?
You have to practice meditation, which can help to harmonize your thoughts, emotions, and actions in a positive manner. Meditation will help you spiritually connect with your eternal self, which is your real self. You can make a wise decision once you are spiritually aligned with your eternal self through spiritual practice. It would be a great idea to create a vision board regarding your relationship goals and goals related to becoming the best version of yourself.
You must focus on your own happiness and personal well-being and do the things that make you feel happy from within. You must engage yourself with personal growth, physical growth, professional growth, and spiritual-based activities for your positive life transformations. Don't engage with him while working on yourself and harmonizing all the key areas of your life in a positive manner.
Suppose if he requests to continue the same pattern of a relationship, including sexual relationships, while having some time and space to work on each other's issues, then this is also a huge red flag. You have to keep your relationship out of the bedroom until he comes with conclusive decisions. You need to change the pattern of your life to manifest the ideal partner of your relationship life. You have to detach yourself from all the negative people and associate with positive, like-minded people with whom you can grow in a positive manner while working on yourself.
The hidden truth will definitely come to the surface once you detach yourself from him for a certain period of time and allow him to fix his internal issues. Never show your desperation; rather, believe in yourself and trust in the Universe intelligence because he will definitely be yours if he truly loves you for who you are. You can have a confidential talk with him once he is mentally and emotionally ready to talk with you regarding the progress of his internal issues.
You have to understand the fact that once you become the best version of yourself, you can be so magnetic to attract your deserving person to your vortex, and that person might be him or someone else whom you deserve. You won't be worried by the outcomes once you become the best version of yourself because there is always someone specific who is divinely sent or meant to be in your life, and that person exists in the universe.
Lastly, it will be your wise decision to get help from a professional relationship coach/counselor if you feel emotionally devastated and stuck in an undefined type of relationship. When you give your best possible effort for your relationship to work but if he keeps delaying commitment for several years with the same pattern of excuses then this is your wake-up call and a huge red flag. You deserve a person who can reflect your soul and allow you to be your authentic self. Never wait for a miracle to happen in your undefined type of relationship for years and years, being therapists to the unfixed man you love.
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